I am optimistic – about people, about what is next, about what is possible. I believe working with a psychologist is an optimistic activity. It puts people in a room together who share the belief that things can be better. And who work to make them so.
Mine is a small practice. My service ethic is inspired by other entrepreneurs - country innkeepers, small, artisan-owned shops and the kinds of experiences I had growing up and working in a small town hardware store with my dad. These are places where people feel warmly welcomed and where the ability of the shop owner to listen for what you want and need is something you can feel. They are also places where people know their trade and are always trying to improve it - with the people they serve in mind.
As a clinician what I do is shaped a good deal by what I want in someone who puts themselves forward to help. I want someone who is kind, sensitive, smart and attentive, of course. But I want more than that. I also want a someone who demonstrates curiosity and ingenuity. It seems to me there is too little customization in health services that must be individualized to be responsive and effective. I want someone who will listen in a way that has them entering my story, witnessing what I describe, connecting it to other things he or she knows about me. To listen critically without being critical is what it means to be attentive. I want someone to give me the benefit of the doubt – but not be blindly affirming. I want all of these things to keep happening as the work unfolds. If my needs or intersts change,I want to know that I can rely on a partner to work with me to find or invent solutions that fit me and my life.
As you think about whether or not to include a clinical psychologist in whatever next steps you choose for yourself, maybe this will help: I can truly say that I’ve never met a person whose “problem” was they weren’t trying hard enough. We are all doing the best we can and when that isn’t working as we’d like, talking to someone else makes a lot of sense.
Rowan